@marshallhaas Dear Jaguar, you screwed up. Hire me as your CEO. Here’s what I would do:
1. Ditch the identity politics rebrand. It was a tone-deaf swing at relevance. You screwed up, now it’s time to lean into that screw up as part of your 2nd rebrand. More on that…
2. Lean into British Bastard identity. Styling and brand should be: the car Bond villains drive. Rebrand should be about a cool rogue British villain type coming in and wrecking house and restarting things. Screw the EVs. Go the other way. “DRIVE BEAUTIFUL TROUBLE” should be your campaign.
3. Build 3 cars:
- Gasoline powered hypercar beauty to lust after. Make it limited and insane. Get it into a movie as a centerpiece. START HERE. Give enthusiasts a reason to get excited. It’s the aspirational centerpiece to the brand.
- Next, SUV for rich moms and dads that takes design ques from said car. Compete with the G-Wagon.
- Then cheaper sports car version to replace the F type. 911 alternative for $120k. Do this 3rd.
Only those 3. The SUV will be the money maker.
No giant touchscreens. Give them real dials, mechanical switches, and something to *feel*.
#Jaguar #rebrand #carlifestyle #hypercardaily
Unsolicited car brand strategy pitchfrom @marshallhaas
[01]
Overview
The creator directly addresses Jaguar, criticizing their recent rebrand and pitching a hypothetical 3-step strategy as their CEO. He outlines a plan to embrace a 'British villain' identity, abandon EVs for gas-powered cars, and focus on a specific three-car lineup (hypercar, SUV, sports car) while showing relevant B-roll of cars and pop culture references to illustrate his vision.
Close-up shot of the creator speaking directly to the camera in a garage setting with a classic car in the background, featuring large, elegant serif text overlay that creates immediate visual contrast.
[06]
Hook template
Steal this for your own video
Dear [brand or company], you screwed up. Here's how I'd fix it.
— Dear Starbucks, you screwed up. Here's how I'd fix it.
— Dear Netflix, you screwed up. Here's how I'd fix it.
— Dear Nike, you screwed up. Here's how I'd fix it.
[07]
Hook and payoff
The promise the opener makes, and how the video pays it back
Hook
Directly address a massive entity, state they failed, and audaciously position the creator as the ultimate fix.
Payoff
Deliver a final, highly specific, and polarizing tactical rule that reinforces the new identity and sparks debate.
[08]
Narrative framework
The structural pattern this video runs on
Framework
The Radical Rebrand Blueprint
Capitalize on a trending brand misstep by aggressively pitching a numbered, highly opinionated, and visually supported alternative strategy.
1
The Aggressive Diagnosis
Identify the exact recent misstep of the subject and propose a sharp pivot away from it.
2
The Core Identity Pivot
Establish a new, edgy, and highly specific archetype or persona for the subject to adopt.
3
The Product Roadmap
Break down the exact deliverables or steps needed to execute the new identity, ordered by priority.
Themes
Brand identity
Automotive enthusiasm
Contrarian marketing
Luxury positioning
Techniques
Voiceover narration
B-roll montage
Dynamic text overlays
Pacing through rapid cuts
Trends
Unsolicited brand advice
Anti-EV sentiment in car culture
Critique of corporate rebranding
Post caption
Dear Jaguar, you screwed up. Hire me as your CEO. Here’s what I would do:
1. Ditch the identity politics rebrand. It was a tone-deaf swing at relevance. You screwed up, now it’s time to lean into that screw up as part of your 2nd rebrand. More on that…
2. Lean into British Bastard identity. Styling and brand should be: the car Bond villains drive. Rebrand should be about a cool rogue British villain type coming in and wrecking house and restarting things. Screw the EVs. Go the other way. “DRIVE BEAUTIFUL TROUBLE” should be your campaign.
3. Build 3 cars:
- Gasoline powered hypercar beauty to lust after. Make it limited and insane. Get it into a movie as a centerpiece. START HERE. Give enthusiasts a reason to get excited. It’s the aspirational centerpiece to the brand.
- Next, SUV for rich moms and dads that takes design ques from said car. Compete with the G-Wagon.
- Then cheaper sports car version to replace the F type. 911 alternative for $120k. Do this 3rd.
Only those 3. The SUV will be the money maker.
No giant touchscreens. Give them real dials, mechanical switches, and something to *feel*.
#Jaguar #rebrand #carlifestyle #hypercardaily
Text overlays
title · beginning
Dear Jaguar
title · beginning
you screwed up
informational · beginning
here's what I would do.
informational · beginning
One, ditch the identity politics rebrand.
informational · middle
Two, lean into the British bastard identity.
informational · middle
Styling and brand should be the car a Bond villain drives.
informational · middle
screw the EVs. Go the other way,
informational · middle
Three, build three cars.
informational · middle
One, start here, a gasoline powered hypercar
informational · end
Next, do an SUV for rich moms and dads
informational · end
Finally, build a cheaper sports car version to replace the F Type.
informational · end
No giant touch screens, give them real dials, mechanical switches and something to feel.
Transcript
Dear jaguar, you screwed up. Hire me as your CEO. Here's what I would do. One, ditch the identity politics rebrand. It was a tone deaf swing at relevance. You screwed up, now it's time to lean into that screw up as part of your second rebrand. You've got one more shot. Two, lean into the British bastard identity. Styling and brand should be the car a Bond villain drives. Rebrand should be about a cool rogue British villain type coming in and wrecking house and restarting things. He's all about gasoline powered cars. Screw the EVs. Go the other way. The campaign is drive beautiful trouble. Three, build three cars. One, start tier, a gasoline powered hypercar beauty to lust after. Make it limited and insane. Get it into a movie as a centerpiece. Think Iron Man and the Audi R eight. Give enthusiasts a reason to get excited. It is the aspirational centerpiece to the brand. No one will care unless you start here. Next, do an SUV for rich moms and dads that takes design cues from said car. There is nothing that competes with the G Wagon. Everything else feels like a boring appliance in the SUV game. Finally, build a cheaper sports car version to replace the F Type. It's a nine eleven alternative for $120. Do this last. Only those three. The SUV will be the moneymaker. No giant touch screens. Give them real dials, mechanical switches, and something to feel.
