A stand-up comedian tells a detailed story about playing the social deduction game 'Mafia.' He explains the game's premise and recounts an interaction with his naive friend, Lucy, who asks him to swear to God that he isn't the killer. The comedian then justifies lying to her by swearing on his mom, sharing a childhood anecdote about his mother teaching him to lie for discounts, which he frames as raising a 'winner.' After successfully deceiving Lucy and winning her trust, he reveals that in the next round, he, as the killer, chose to eliminate her, leading to a final, humorous moment of betrayal when she tasks him with finding her killer.
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Transcript
Game I've been playing is a game called Mafia. You played Mafia before? Yeah. Mafia, if you don't know, is a game where you all sit in a circle. K. One of you is secretly the killer, and then you try to accuse each other of who the killer is. Okay. It's gaslighting best fun. Okay. I'm a very good killer. Okay? Worse in the middle of the game, I'm the killer, I'm playing the game with my friend Lucy. Lucy, she better played the game before. Okay? And Lucy, she's got a strange strategy to figure out who the killer is. Okay? She good at me and she go, Ray, I need you to swear to Good you're not the killer. In my mind, I'm like, I'm not about to swear to Good. God's not gonna understand the context. Okay? I'm not going to hell for Tuesday game night. So I I started spitting a lie, I said Lucy I'll do you one better. Okay? I swear on my mom. Now keep in mind I love my mom, but she raised the winner. Here's how I no, when we were kids, we would go to the buffet. My mom made me lie about my age, get best discounts. Okay? Bad told me in this family, we do what it takes. Okay? The buffet lady come up to me, how old are you? I would go, I'm 10. I was 23 at the time. Okay? I go, Lucy, I swear on my mom. I'm not the killer. Everybody in the group, they go, I think he's the killer. They're like, the fuck? I think it's him. Lucy, bless her soul. Okay? She good at tier, she look at me, she goes, guys, no. I believe him. Then she said something that even surprised me. She goes, Honestly, out of everybody here, he's the one I trust the most. When she said that, I'm like, I really might be a serial killer. I felt no remorse at all. I felt no remorse. I even put my hand on top of hers. I said, girl, we are blood sisters. Tier gonna figure out this mystery together. Okay. They're not gonna get us. Okay? Now, thanks to Lucy, that round, they didn't vote me out. I survived. Okay? The narrator go, everybody close your eyes. Me, I did what I had to do. I killed Lucy. It was getting embarrassing for her. I had to do it. The narrator go, okay, everybody, open your eyes. Lucy, unfortunately, you've been murdered. Okay? Lucy looked at me, she no, Rank, find him. I did that. I go, which one of you sick fucks did this? You sick fucks. You disgust me. I'm gonna find you. I'm gonna kill you. And I wasn't lying. I did kill them. I ended up winning the game, and after the game, it was revealed that I was the killer. Okay. Lucy, she was so impressed with my performance, she actually blocked me on Instagram. No
