Man explains dating perspective shiftfrom @thejaunt_

Transcript

At 30 years old, I'm less interested in a relationship than I was at 25. And I know I see these memes and whatever these pages where girls joke about how guys are, like, balding rank they're saying that they're not ready to commit. It's like, you're running out of time. I'm being that guy right now, but I'm just gonna walk you through, like, how it actually feels in my head. For me, when I was younger, I was very interested in a relationship. I didn't realize this at the time, but part of the reason I was very interested in a relationship was because dating at 24 in New York Tier is so gruesome for a guy. It's gruesome. You are bottom of the totem pole. You're competing with 30 year old finance bros and tech bros and fill in the blank bros. You just get treated like shit. And so I think because of that, you have this feeling that like, oh, if I could just find one good girl, I'd just stick with her to get out of this bullshit. But at 30, dating is so easy as a guy. Being a 30 year old guy is like being a 22 year old girl in New York City. You arguably have your like peak optionality. But it's not even just the optionality. That's a big part of it. But the other part is that each year you get older, you get better and better at being alone. And I don't mean that in the sense like, oh you know how to endure being alone. I mean like you get better and better at enjoying being alone and the cost of not being alone goes up accordingly. And then you add into this, right? Here's the cherry on top, That because dating is pretty easy, you can get into situationships pretty easily. And situationships offer, like, 80% of the benefits that a relationship would offer minus that 20% of closeness, which is totally valuable and real. So I'm not I'm not downplaying that. But because you can get a lot of the benefits without the commitment or the responsibility, Peter Pan Syndrome really kicks in at 30 more than it did when I was 25. I would have wifed a girl up at 25. I was, you no, it sounds so bad, but, like, the temptation to just be rank f boy at 30 years old is is overwhelmingly greater than it was when you were, like, 23, 24, 25 because you really back then, unless you're, like, the top 5% of guys, you couldn't pull it off.