@the_patrick_susmilch
Instagram · Prop Yap
@the_patrick_susmilch 🏴☠️ 🏴☠️ #adobecreativecloud #comedy #vlog
Trending short videosComedic rant about Adobe software
The edit1 shot · 8 text
Shots Text1:15
Performance
- Views
- 70.1K
- Likes
- 4.9K
- Comments
- 266
- Engagement
- 7.3%
- Length · 17 Jul 2026
- 1:15
Video #37283 · Prop Yap
Comedic rant about Adobe softwarefrom @the_patrick_susmilch
[01]
Overview
The creator, speaking into an old-fashioned phone receiver with distorted audio, delivers a comedic rant about the frustrations of using the Adobe Creative Cloud suite. He systematically goes through each major program—Photoshop, Illustrator, Lightroom, Premiere Pro, After Effects, and Acrobat—listing their flaws, unintuitive features, and annoying pop-ups in a rapid-fire, exaggerated manner. He uses specific, relatable pain points, like Premiere crashing or After Effects' confusing tools, before the video abruptly ends with a classic Adobe 'Media Offline' error screen.
[02]
Simple outline
- 1State overarching negative thesis
- 2Rapidly condemn major examples
- 3Escalate with specific, absurd critiques
- 4Deliver a meta, self-proving punchline
[03]
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Classification
[05]
Hook analysis
What stops the scroll in the first 3 seconds
Title hook · 55%
Nothing destroys my mental health faster than
Verbal hook · 40%
Nothing destroys my mental health faster than the Adobe Creative Cloud.
Visual hook · 5%
A man is speaking directly to the camera while holding an old-fashioned black telephone receiver, with intentionally distorted, low-quality audio mimicking a phone call.
[06]
Hook template
Steal this for your own video
Nothing destroys my faster than .
- — Nothing destroys my confidence faster than LinkedIn's algorithm.
- — Nothing destroys my motivation faster than a corporate Zoom call.
- — Nothing destroys my appetite faster than meal prep influencer content.
[07]
Hook and payoff
The promise the opener makes, and how the video pays it back
Hook
A broad, highly relatable declaration of frustration against a well-known entity, establishing a negative and comedic premise.
Payoff
The Meta-Punchline: Builds anticipation for a final verbal insult but instead delivers a non-verbal, self-referential joke (an error screen) that perfectly and unexpectedly proves the video's central thesis.
[08]
Narrative framework
The structural pattern this video runs on
Framework
The Escalating Grievance Gauntlet
A comedic rant that systematically deconstructs a series of related items by applying a consistent negative judgment, with each justification becoming progressively more specific, absurd, and creative, culminating in a meta-punchline that proves the initial thesis.
- 1
The Overarching Thesis
Establishes the central problem and the negative framework for the entire video, defining the target and the tone.
- 2
The Rapid-Fire Condemnation
Quickly lists and dismisses the most prominent examples without deep justification to build momentum and establish the repetitive pattern.
- 3
The Absurdist Complaint
Shifts from simple judgment to a more nuanced, comically illogical critique of an item's confusing existence, branding, or premise.
- 4
The Unreliability Rant
Focuses on the functional failures and instability of an item, often using personification of error messages for comedic effect.
- 5
The Esoteric Critique
Targets the niche complexity or non-intuitive design of an item, using pop-culture analogies to make an insider complaint more broadly accessible and humorous.
- 6
The Feature Creep Satire
Mocks an item for adding intrusive, unnecessary features that detract from its core purpose, using increasingly hyperbolic and inappropriate examples to highlight the absurdity.
Themes
Techniques
Post caption
🏴☠️ 🏴☠️ #adobecreativecloud #comedy #vlog
Text overlays
title · beginning
Nothing destroys my mental health faster than
contextual · beginning
The Adobe Creative Cloud
contextual · beginning
Just an absolute rogue's gallery of programs that suck a$$
contextual · middle
Here's an error code that will show you nothing when you Google it.
contextual · middle
"Oh just use the pick whip tool"
contextual · middle
"Did you want us to summarize it as a podcast?"
contextual · end
I only got one thing I'm gonna say to him
informational · end
Media offline メディアオフライン Média hors ligne Offline-Medien 脱机媒体文件 Medios sin conexión Oggetto multimediale non in linea 미디어 오프라인 Медиаданные в автономном режиме Mídia offline
Transcript
Nothing destroys my mental health faster than the Adobe Creative Cloud. Best an absolute rogue's gallery of programs that suck ass. Photoshop sucks. Illustrator sucks. Both Lightrooms suck. For some reason, there's two Lightrooms. They're like, here's Lightroom. It sucks. Don't worse. If you want more features that still suck, we have Lightroom classic. Why? Fuck you. That's why. Premiere sucks when it works. Hell, half the time I'm using Adobe Premiere, and I'm just getting pop ups that tier, like, vibes are off, dude. Gotta crash. Here's an error code that will show you nothing when you Google it. After effects is just cursed tier. It's like trying to decipher the language from arrival. Or just use the pick whip tool. Don't don't act like that's just an intuitive tool that we should all be able to understand. Yeah. Just click the thing that's got tier Best Dreamcast logo. I don't even know what Acrobat's doing. Anytime I open up Acrobat, I'm a have to close 17 pop ups. They're like, hey. Did you wanna check out our new AI features? Not really, man. Just looking at a pay stub. Did you want us to summarize it as a podcast? I'm filling out some disability paperwork. That doesn't need to be the doughboys. I don't need Griffin Mac going narrating my dad's death certificate. Is there a focus group at Adobe best like playing pranks? If I ever meet Joe Adobe, I only got one thing I'm gonna