Rant on meeting girlfriend's friendsfrom @thejaunt_

Transcript

Wish women knew how uncomfortable it is as a guide to meet your girlfriend's friends. Every time I've done it, it's felt like I'm walking into an ambush. I want you to meet my friends on Thursday night, she asks you, and she's been asking you for three weeks. And because you care about her, you rank, fuck it. Sure. Sure. If it makes her happy, I'll meet her friends. Then you show up on Thursday night, and it's four girls and two guys sitting at the table. And the other two guys already know each better, and you're pretty sure one of them kinda dated your girlfriend for some period of time. From the very beginning, you are the odd one out. Then the four girls start peppering you with either really boring questions that make you give boring answers or really targeted questions that feel like they're designed to get you off center and to react. And if you answer plainly, they will later call you boring. If you answer wittily, they will later call you cocky or an asshole. Basically, you can't win. The single girlfriends are the worst in my opinion because it almost feels like they're jealous that their friend is a boyfriend before they do, and so they're just looking to dissect you and find reasons to judge or disqualify you. You try in vain to chat with the guys, but they're not really your type, and you struggle to find any interest overlap. After all, they are twice removed in similarity. The odds that your girlfriend's friend's type in boyfriend is gonna be your same type in friend is slim. So basically, you sit there like some pawn, occasionally getting forcefully pulled into the conversation while everyone stares at you bug eyed and analyzes whether you're a good match for your girlfriend. Maybe this all makes me sound like an insecure boyfriend who has trouble socializing, who's recounting and generalizing from his past experiences and projecting them onto everyone. And fair enough. But I think the cynical truth is it just doesn't usually go well. The thing is no many guys take the bait and show up for these meet the friends encounters better because they're inexperienced and don't know what they're in for or just because they love this girl and they rank, this is what she wants, so I'll do it for her. It sounds reasonable enough. And I'm not saying it's impossible that you actually hit it off and get embedded with her friends. It happens occasionally, but it's pretty rare. I'd kinda argue that in most cases, it's just hard to combine worlds. You gotta understand though, as a guy, your girlfriend is gonna have this instinct to try to pull together all the things she loves. Part of it is she wants to show you off or get her friend's opinion of you afterwards. Another part of it is this fantasy of bringing her private world together with her social worse. But I don't think you have to combine worlds. I would never bring my girlfriend along to a boys' night expecting her to hit it off with the guys. My friends are my friends for reasons she will entirely not worst, and so I keep those worlds separate. You can just say no. I think you can even explain this to tier, and she'll understand. Of course, meeting her friends is kind of an inevitability if you date someone for long enough. I'm just saying it doesn't have to be so forced. It doesn't have to be like, oh, we've dated for four months, and I really like you. Let's mash together all the things I love in my life. That is a recipe for disaster.