@livewellwithsophie
Instagram · One Shot
@livewellwithsophie I haven’t really spoken about this because, if I’m honest, it’s one of the most embarrassing things I’ve ever been through. Who wants to admit they’ve slowly been cut out of a friendship group and they’re not even completely sure why? We like to think bitchiness ends when we leave school. I actually think it gets more brutal because it’s quieter. As adults, nobody tells you they don’t want to be friends anymore. You just start seeing photos of everyone together that you weren’t invited to. You hear about plans after they’ve happened. You realise you’re the only one who didn’t know. It’s subtle enough that you wonder if you’re imagining it. And that’s the cruel part. Because instead of thinking, “Maybe these aren’t my people anymore,” you start thinking, “What’s wrong with me?” At the same time, I was going through one of the hardest periods of my life. Instead of feeling supported, I heard people were talking about me behind my back, saying they were tired of all the drama. The thing is, it never felt like drama to me. It felt like I was trying to keep my head above water, and I needed my friends more than ever. If I’m honest, it completely knocked my confidence. Whenever I was around them, I stopped being myself. I tried to be more positive, more confident, more fun. I thought if I could just be an easier person to be around, maybe I’d finally feel accepted again. Looking back, that’s the part that breaks my heart the most. Not losing the friendships. Losing myself trying to keep them. I’m sharing this because I know someone reading this will be quietly blaming themselves after being left out and holding it in because it’s embarrassing. Well shame thrives in secrecy, so I’m setting it free. Please don’t let someone else’s inability to show up for you become the story you tell yourself about your worth. These days, my circle is much smaller, but every friendship I have makes me feel safe to be exactly who I am. I’d rather have one friendship where I can be completely myself than a room full of people who make me question whether I belong.
