Satirical TED Talk on datingfrom @thatzonaguy

Transcript

Today, we have best and worst first date spots. And I don't have time to fuck around today, so we're just gonna get straight into it. What makes a good first date spot? Okay? So you guys may think that what makes a good spot is the spot itself. But then you're forgetting that you still have to get the girl to agree to go on a date with you. So really what makes a good first date spot is the commitment level that comes along with the spot. Does that make sense? I'll clarify. The goal of a first date is to gauge. So when you pick a first date spot, it needs to be low commitment. It's gotta be somewhere that if the date's going shit, either of you can leave. But if the date's going well, then it's gonna continue to go longer. So if you go get coffee and you're at coffee for two and a half hours, you can gauge that it's going well. But if you go get coffee and you go and it's twenty minutes, she probably doesn't fucking like you. So good spots, coffee, wok, frozen yogurt, rank, all low commitment. Bad spots, a full dinner, movies, with your friends, sports games, concerts, or anywhere else you can think of that doesn't have an easy out. Because if it doesn't have an easy out, that's gonna be much less likely that the woman is even gonna say yes to the date with you in the first place. So I know what you're all thinking. What happens when she tells you, but I know my worse. You need to take me to a $500 dinner. FDB. Fuck that bitch. She sucks anyway, so you don't even wanna go on a date. Thank you for coming to my TED Rank today, and I'll see you again tomorrow.