Comedian's stressful steakhouse date storyfrom @rayjlau

Transcript

Told me she wanna go to a steakhouse. Okay. But she no I just quit my job. She goes, don't worse. I know a steakhouse. My friend worked there. Don't worry. He's got us. But we just gotta tip him fat. I lean in. I said, how fat? She looked at me, she said, $80. What? I said, does he got us or do we got him? I said, fuck it. Okay. I just won't eat in January, so I was okay. So we go to the steakhouse and her friend's a bartender. And when we and we sit down and the bartender come up to me and he no, so you're the boyfriend. And in my mind, I go, no, man. Tonight, you're the boyfriend. Okay. We both your girl. Worst me, I'm putting out. Okay? So as the dinner progresses, I start getting more and more stressed out because he kept saying things that felt like he was not truly getting us. Okay? So I would be eating the steak and he'd be like, rank, the steak's totally worth it, right? I no, Worse what? Baby, what do you mean worse what? He means worth the drive. I don't think he meant worth the drive. He was like ten minutes to get here. I start panicking a little bit because I realize I don't know how much these steaks cost. I'm I'm biting it and I'm and they're they're like melting in my mouth. I go, oh no. I'm eating, they're like super juicy. I go, Oh, Good. I don't think we can afford this. I tier really freaking out a little better. And that's when I I I swear to God this is true. I look across the bad, I swear to God, Jason Derulo is sitting right across the bar. I go, we're good. We're cooked. We cannot afford this. And then I tell myself, well, calm down, calm down. Bad started thinking to myself, well, how successful is Jason Derulo today? And I told I told my girl, I go, to be honest, you know, I mean, best Jason I don't even know any Jason Derulo songs. She look at me, she go, what? She goes, what about boom a jusay? I go, he's got boom a jusay. That's his song. Oh, no. That's fucking timeless. It all started coming back to me at once. Jason, the ruler. Oh, my god. No. I good over. She's, like, streaming boom what you say. I was, like, listening. I go, stop giving him streams. Stop helping him. He's reaching up already. Stop helping him. And so the bartender, he he come up to us and and he rank us the bill. He go, hey. Don't worry. I go, thank god. He goes, don't worry. The drinks are on me. I go, what'd you say?