Comedic monologue on family travelfrom @davi87dp

Transcript

When you travel without your family and realize the airport was never stressful, it was just your dad. Yeah. Because why am I arriving at the airport two hours before my flight, calmly checking my bag, getting through security tier sitting at my gate with a coffee? Like, where's the where's the yelling? Where's the panic? Where where's somebody accusing everyone of ruining the vacation before we even left the country? Growing up, going to the airport felt like we were evacuating the city. Like, my dad would wake everybody up at 03:45AM for a flight leaving at noon. Like, we we need to get moving. Moving where? The airport hasn't even opened its eyes yes. Like, I... And then he'd stand by the front door holding the car keys, sighing like he was the the only person who understood the severity of the situation. Meanwhile, my mom was still packing toiletries. Somebody couldn't find their passport, and my brother had decided that that was the perfect time to take a shower. I don't know. By the time we good in the car, my dad was driving, like, the plane was already on the runway. And then we'd arrive at the airport four hours early. Four hours. And he'd act like we... We'd narrowly escape disaster. Like, oh, good thing we left when we did. Sir, they're still flying the plane here from another state. Like... And then he'd make us stand directly in front of the gate for an hour because they could start boarding any minute. The boarding time was literally printed on the ticket, like... Better, apparently, that that was just a suggestion. So now I travel alone. It's best. And it's suspiciously peaceful. Like, nobody's asking me where my passport is every seven seconds. Nobody's announcing that we're gonna miss the flight while we're already sitting at the gate. Nobody's getting personally offended by the length of the security line. I I just show up, follow the signs, and get on the plane. Turns out tier travel is a relatively straightforward process when nobody is treating a vacation like a a military extraction. And, you know, the funny part is I I still hear my dad's voice every time I leave for the airport, so I arrive three hours early anyway. The man isn't even traveling with me anymore. He's just managing the trip remotely from inside my head.