@thatzonaguy
Instagram · Speaker address
@thatzonaguy Before you all ask or the haters get all riled up yes my girl checks all of these boxes…so they do exist . #tedtalk #present #dating #theboys #xyzbca
Trending short videosCreator presents his dating standards
The edit1 shot · 1 text
Shots Text1:36
Performance
- Views
- 313.1K
- Likes
- 17.2K
- Comments
- 365
- Engagement
- 5.6%
- Outlier
- 4.4×
- Length · 3 Jun 2026
- 1:36
Video #32002 · Speaker address
Creator presents his dating standardsfrom @thatzonaguy
[01]
Overview
The creator, posing as a TED Talk speaker, presents his personal '5 Non-Negotiable Standards' for a romantic partner. He uses a TV screen to display each standard in reverse order, from #5 (doesn't use drugs) to #1 (good relationship with father), providing opinionated commentary and personal justifications for each point.
[02]
Simple outline
- 1Establish humorous authority
- 2Countdown controversial standards
- 3Reveal the ultimate standard
- 4Provide personal disclaimer
[03]
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Classification
[05]
Hook analysis
What stops the scroll in the first 3 seconds
Title hook · 25%
TODAYS TED TALK
Verbal hook · 45%
So today we have five non negotiable standards, and these are my non negotiable standards.
Visual hook · 30%
A man sits in a casual setting holding a pointer stick and keyboard, in front of a TV displaying a presentation slide, creating a satirical 'TED Talk' visual.
[06]
Hook template
Steal this for your own video
These are my non-negotiable standards for — and I will not apologize for any of them.
- — These are my 5 non-negotiable standards for a romantic partner — and I will not apologize for any of them.
- — These are my 3 non-negotiable standards for a business partnership — and I will not apologize for any of them.
- — These are my 4 non-negotiable standards for who I let into my inner circle — and I will not apologize for any of them.
[07]
Hook and payoff
The promise the opener makes, and how the video pays it back
Hook
A visual and textual framing device (e.g., 'Today's TED Talk') that establishes a humorous, parodic, or authoritative tone for the list that follows.
Payoff
A concluding statement that both qualifies the list as a personal opinion (disarming potential criticism) and calls back to the initial framing device for a satisfying narrative close.
[08]
Narrative framework
The structural pattern this video runs on
Framework
The Unapologetic Doctrine Countdown
A creator presents a ranked list of personal, often controversial, standards or rules within a humorous or authoritative frame, justifying each point before revealing the most important one.
- 1
The Premise Declaration
The creator explicitly states the topic of the list, the number of items, and the organizing principle (e.g., a countdown of importance) to set clear viewer expectations.
- 2
The Justification Gauntlet
The creator systematically moves through the bulk of the list items, applying a consistent pattern of stating the rule and then providing a personal, often provocative, justification for it.
- 3
The Apex Reveal
The creator unveils the number one item on the list, treating it as the climax and often giving it slightly more emphasis or explanation than the previous items.
Themes
Techniques
Trends
Post caption
Before you all ask or the haters get all riled up yes my girl checks all of these boxes…so they do exist . #tedtalk #present #dating #theboys #xyzbca
Text overlays
title · beginning
TODAYS TED TALK
Transcript
No today we have five non negotiable standards, and these are my non negotiable standards. So, and these are also in order of importance. Alright. Number five, doesn't use drugs, doesn't have a history of drugs. I have too many problems with bitches that take drugs. I don't take drugs, Never have, never will. So this is a big one for me. Number four is not out in the clubs. Clubs have very bad energy. And that bad energy is very, very sticky. It lingers. Right? Nobody's actually having fun in those nightclubs. It's very performative. It's very for other people's approval. So aside from the fact that hoke shit goes down there, not a big fan of the clubs, neither is my girl. Works great. Number three, not rank through. Pretty self explanatory. No guy wants a ran through woman, to call his. Number two, no guy friends. No, we can't be friends. Hate to burst your fucking bubble. Someone will end up liking each other liking the other person at some point. You can only have so many deep conversations with another human before you'd start to develop feelings for them. So no guy friends. And last but not least, number one, a good relationship with tier better. Also, bonus points if the father is cool. Having a great relationship with her father is so important on so many levels, because that is gonna let you in. If they have a bad relationship with their father, you can already tick enough boxes on problems that you're gonna have to where it's not worth it. And also, my girlfriend's father is fucking hilarious. Super fun to hang out with, so that's great. So these are my five. I would recommend them to be your five, but really that's up to you. It's not my relationship. I'm not the one here telling you what to do. Rank for coming to my TED Talk today and I'll see you at the same time again tomorrow.