Satirical etiquette lesson on selfiesfrom @professorpanache

Transcript

Should a gentleman post gym selfies? Certainly. And a gentleman may also photograph his breakfast and announce his bowel movement following that breakfast on the Internet thrice a day. The question is not whether he may. Civilization has already surrendered unwillingly on that front. The question is whether he should. A gentleman understands that the gym is where one goes to improve oneself, not where one goes to conduct an unsolicited, mostly unattended yes conference about it. There is, of course, nothing inherently vulgar about sharing an occasional photograph after a truly respectable transformation. A little vanity, much like a little whiskey, is perfectly civilized in moderation. But if your feet begins to resemble the security footage of a narcissist's personal shrine to his litmusimus dorsi, one suspects that said narcissist is merely auditioning for the approval of complete strangers, most of whom don't know what a logismus dorsi is or where it's located for that matter. The truly elegant man, if inclined to developing a more than fleeting resemblance to Tier Schwarzenegger, lets his physique be discovered rather than advertised. He wears a well cut shirt. Someone notices the shoulder. He removes his jacket. Someone notices the discipline. He reaches for the champagne. Someone notices the forearms. If yet in need of a stare or 1,307, a summer holiday takes care of the rest. He does not need to stand beneath fluorescent lighting, flexing beside a motivational quote that's written by a man who has never read a book, being read by a man who's never read a book, broadcast and reshared to a group of men who have never read a book. Gentlemen, mystery is one of the last luxuries available to a modern man. Leave something to the imagination, particularly when that imagination has better lighting than your ring light.