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Welcome to the Brooklyn Coffee Shop Anti-streaming open mic night.
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Tonight we stand in solidarity against the music streamers and all recorded music in general.
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We believe music should be enjoyed spur of the moment, never recorded, never monetized.
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So we only support artists with under 50 monthly listeners.
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First off, welcome Roe v. Slayed.
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My period is very intermittent. It's unpredictable.
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So tonight I'm gonna play a jazz version of our hit single.
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"My period is coming"
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And next we have our coffee shop regular, Raven Shadowbane.
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My birth name is Elliot Stern, but please refer to me as Raven Shadowbane.
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"Have you ever felt so crazy in your own head?"
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"Have you ever felt alone in your own bed?"
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"Mom come back!"
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"Mommy are you ever coming back?"
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"Is my mom coming back from..."
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"The store"
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That was incredibly depressing. Thank you Raven.
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And next, we have our latte art intern
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Faith.
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I want to sing a little song about being a Brooklyn cowgirl.
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"Well, my husband's dead, and no one knows who did it"
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"But I do."
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"My husband's dead, and no one knows who done it."
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"I do."
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"I killed my husband with his rifle right..."
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We didn't do a background check on her, did we?
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We did not.
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"I don't care, because I have hair everywhere that he don't."
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And finally, us.
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Lil Leaf
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and Big Herb.
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"Drank."
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"Matcha."
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"Now I done grew up with some people living their life in condos"
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"Private educated it's a problem"
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"Coffee bean cost a million"
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"Put it in my macchiato."
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"Get a page full of Marx and then dive in."
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"I remember you was conflicted."