The creators perform a scripted comedy sketch where an overly dramatic, stereotypical Brooklyn actor enters a coffee shop and treats the unimpressed baristas as casting directors. The actor performs bizarre vocal warm-ups, delivers an intense, unprompted monologue about alternative milk options, and ultimately loses the 'role' of customer to a 'nepo baby,' effectively satirizing both the acting industry and modern coffee shop culture.
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Episode 76: Actor visits the shop featuring @jessicaleejessie 🎥🎭 Starring @winnie_thepooj as Thyme and @darrylgenejr as Cale
Thanks to: Director + Lead Editor @nitay.dagan, DP/Color @eyalbaucohen, Assistant Editor @ad.ri.an.a, Sound Mix @fogelmusic, Sound Recording @verronicahein, Associate Producer @hannahmeholick, Production Coordinator @torijeanine, @larryscaphe for the space, and @rowingblazers for the baristas’ wardrobe!
Transcript
Hi. I am Jessie Lee, five seven, based in Brooklyn, New York. These are my hands, and I'm auditioning for the role of Marxist barista. We're not casting directors. Our silent short film, If Baristas Could Rank, came out in 2023. I've seen your videos, like, all over social media. I'm a huge fan. I would love to audition. What is she talking about? Who knows? The actor's sustenance is delusion. Oh, come on, please. Guys, I went method for this. I cut my own bangs. Who are we to stop an artist from performing in Brooklyn? You may proceed. Rank you. Okay. This is my headshot. This is my resume. You haven't done any acting. Well, no. But I've done 52 consecutive one week acting classes for the past year. Classic. I'll just do some warm ups before we start. Mhmm. Red leather, yellow leather. Red leather, yellow leather. I see you know your Meisner well. Hey, buddy. You better watch out. Moniqueem technique. Zip. Zap. Stop. Okay. Let's begin. Time will read the role of customer. Hey. What kind of looks do you have today? Why would you say that to me? How was that? Was that good? I can take notes. Try it again, but more grounded. Worse grounded. Yes. Of course. Hey. What kind of milks do you Well, wouldn't you like to know? We've got potato. We've got acorn. We've even got sunflower seed and water buffalo. But alas, I haven't seen the sun for the past ten years. Was that better? You guys like that? Where exactly do you think this coffee shop is located? Brooklyn, New York. Ten minutes from the l, twenty minute walk from the g? Accurate. Okay. For the next scene, we're gonna give an order, and you're gonna make it. Go. I'll have an ashwagandha turmeric latte with cardamom cashew milk. Peppermint tea. That always gets them. What have I done? We decided to go in a more Nepo direction for the role. We hear Beyonce's having another baby. She's offer only. No. No. I need this. Okay? My roommates say that I cannot spend all day pretending to read The Artist's Way in the living room, and all night crying to Meryl Streep's sizzle reels on YouTube shorts. They are gonna replace me with a finance pro. I need this. There's another role we think would be perfect for you. Janitor number three. I accept. I remember my first latte bad when milk was still milk before that one war, but after the other one. Oh, Danny boy. The pipes, the pipes are calling.