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Episode 78: Real Estate Mogul visits the shop featuring @ryanserhant 👨💼🏙️ Starring @winnie_thepooj as Thyme and @darrylgenejr as Cale
Thanks to: Director + Lead Editor @nitay.dagan, DP/Color @eyalbaucohen, Assistant Editor @hudsonmakesmovies, Sound Mix @fogelmusic, Sound Recording @gavincorneliusedmonds, Props + PA @hannahmeholick, Associate Producer @torijeanine, Assistant Writer @bigmackhubbell, @rowingblazers for Cale’s sweater and @pathetic for Thyme’s hoodie!
Transcript
It's $85,000,000 for a penthouse. Just get it done. Okay? Thank you. How do these suited men keep finding us? We need to get off of Google Maps. Oh my good. I've had the craziest week. I've been filming all over the place for my show. I don't no. Maybe you've seen it only in Manhattan on Netflix. Kind of a big deal. We don't believe in property ownership. Or Manhattan. Right. Well, then you're definitely gonna love the spin off, Renting Brooklyn. Okay. I'm gonna take six espresso warm to exactly 180 degrees in the tiny little cups, not the big ones. Thank you so much. Fahrenheit? Yeah. We don't use imperialist forms of measurement in this cafe. It's a statement against the monarchy. Metric system only. I'll take five for the team then. That'll be $850 plus tax. One bad added a mansion tax, a flipping tax, a property tax, and a transfer tax. And a tax because we wanted to. Dude, Donnie's been mayor for, like, a couple months. I don't understand why you're hitting me with all this stuff. It's a coffee, not a condo. Oh, it is a condo for the beans. Never thought about it that way. Sorry if our estates aren't real enough for you. You know what? Now that I look around, 20 plus two carry the seven. This is 200 square feet mixed use building, terrible bones, creaky floors, noise pollution, awkward smell. If anyone could flip this, I can. Good you sell? For that, you'll have to contact the Lenape tribe. This land's not your land. This land's not my land. Wait a minute. I remember this place. Back in the day, this was one of my first deals. I sold this to the Marketfellers. What's their name? What's their name? The Guggenheims. No. The Gatsby family. You were close with the G. You're Cale Gatsby. I knew I recognize you. You didn't have a hat when you were a baby, but I sold this to your family, and we did that mansion deal in West Egg. I don't feel safe. I have to thank you because your family's purchase of this building specifically set off a real estate firestorm that spread across Brooklyn, you are the reason there's an Hermes in Williamsburg. It's okay. We all have a pass. I've done an Ayahuasca pilgrimage through every independent bookstore in Brooklyn, and still that's not enough. Somehow, I still can't atone. You know you're gonna love this. In the real estate circles, you are known as the Bedford Bezos. You have to go. Okay. But if your family's looking for a twenty fifth home, I kinda specialize in those. Unfortunately, they are looking. That means call me. Twenty fifth one's a charm.
