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I've been wanting to try this place for a while now.
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Sorry, before I order, can I just ask... is this women-owned?
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Gianmarco Soresi bought the shop last year,
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who sold it to the sisters Haim, who sold it
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back to Cale's family this year.
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I'm a Gatsby.
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Was it bought by a female Gatsby or a male Gatsby?
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It's a niche family member who currently identifies as non-binary.
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Good enough. May I ask, what is the Choice Latte?
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Well, that's up to you.
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You get to choose the flavor, sweetener, milk,
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temperature, pouring speed, and mug color.
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And I will not speak for this entire interaction
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to decenter myself from the order.
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That would be a shame.
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I choose to keep you in the conversation.
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Can I just get, like, a water first?
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I have to take my birth control.
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Ew, you still take that?
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It's literally an invention by a man.
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And it's just to make you feel crazy and bloated.
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We shouldn't be judging a woman's decisions.
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I'm a barista. I judge all genders equally.
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Let me guess. You're probably one of those women that judges women for wearing makeup.
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I just bought Greta Thunberg's entire new collection for MAC.
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Love the Glacier eyeshadow palette.
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Not so big into the Net Zero lip gloss.
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What are our favorite feminists?
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I have so many, but I stopped sharing them for fear of becoming a performative male,
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which, ironically, is pushing me towards patriarchy.
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That's okay. You would look great with glasses and a tote bag.
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Merci.
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Well, I love Gloria Steinem.
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You know she got married, right?
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There's something cute about it. It's just a little simplistic.
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Mine is the entire Kardashian family
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because of how hard they have fought for a woman's right to vocal fry.
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Cale, what's yours?
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bell hooks by way of Lena Dunham.
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Or was it Lena Dunham by way of bell hooks?
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Either way, I'm such an Adam.
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Yeah, you are. I can see that!
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I walked in and I was like, "Adam from Girls!"
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Oh my God, stop. Don't.
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You do realize you're reinforcing the myth of gender
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with your toxic brand of femininity?
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I have flaws, and I accept that about myself.
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I haven't felt guilt or shame since the 2016 Girlboss Conference.
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You know, when I heard how little cheerleaders are paid, I stopped watching sports every commercial break.
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That was hard for you. Still is.
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Thank you so much. I will get the raspberry leaf latte warmed at 85 degrees
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with the milk of a female buffalo served in a flower pot.
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That'll be $35.50.
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You're seriously not gonna tip a female barista?
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I guess it depends. Do you have kids? No. Endometriosis? No.
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Are you in a toxic relationship that you can't get out of?
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Only the one between barista and customer.
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I think I'm just gonna save it so that I can donate to Planned Parenthood.
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You get it.
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Cale, I'll see you. I'm on Bumble.