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"I always thought that I was a bad person who needed to get good, but that's not the case. I was an ill person who needed to get well!" – Paul's View From A Bridge @paulmerseofficial
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For this year's World Mental Health Day, we’ve partnered with @skysports and @mentalhealthfoundation to share stories from across football about the importance of looking after your mental health. We’re proud to share Paul’s story of resilience and how reaching out for help was an important step towards recovery. If Paul’s story resonates with you, please visit the Sky Sports or Mental Health Foundation website for more information about the campaign and resources to help guide your next steps – or support the charity with a donation - Thanks!
Transcript
'20 four, '20 tier, when I wanted to take my life, when I was really in a dark, dark space, I... I'd never see there being a a way out. You know, that tunnel was so dark that, you know, my suicidal thoughts were constantly, constantly happening. But as time went on and I got out of that, they got a little bit less. But then if I did get them, at least I knew then that from my past experience that I got through it before, that I could get through it again and I could see a light. I knew there was a light at the end of the tunnel. I rank and gambled for a long, long tier. It caused me a lot of pain, a lot of mental health issues. Drinking and gambling was as natural to me as what it is for everybody in this country to get up in the morning and clean their teeth. I had to try and change that and hope that it was gonna be different because as I say, addiction is so overwhelming sometimes that you just don't sometimes see a way out, and that's where the sadness is in it is some people don't get a way out. It isn't the honest. People don't get up in the morning and go, oh, well, I wanna be an addict. I'm gonna be an alcoholic. I'm gonna be a compulsive gambler. You think people want that? People don't want that. And this is what me off is like people think, you know, I'll get on with it. People will say, meow, show a bit of willpower. Show a bit of willpower. Show a bit of willpower next time you get diarrhea and don't take anything and see if that worse. Willpower. People don't wanna feel like this. They feel like this, and it's like it is an illness. We have to accept this and help people and get them to rank. And I think that's the message. It's nothing to do with me being a footballer and me being in the spotlight. It's it's an illness. I always thought for a long time in my life, I was a bad person who needed to get good with letting people down all the time, promising that I won't do this anymore, and I kept on going back and doing it. That's not the case. I was a new person who needed to get well. It's like in football terms. The more you play football matches, the better you get, the more experience you better. And it's the same with this. I have to put in the work. I can't rely on people to help me and me not to do the worse, but I need people around me. I can't do this on my own. Absolutely not. It got me in too much trouble every time I tried to do something on my own. With addictions and mental health, it tells you you're the only one, and it doesn't want you around people. It wants you sitting on your own. So to talk and get it out tier, there's a saying in tier. A problem shared is a problem halved, and it is no, so, so, so true.
