contextual · beginning
I could really use a smoothie.
contextual · beginning
Pickleball was crazy today.
contextual · beginning
Today we only have the Gloria Steinem.
contextual · beginning
Is that a new Erewhon smoothie? I must have missed that collab.
contextual · beginning
It's like the Hailey Bieber one, but feminist.
contextual · beginning
It's $85
contextual · beginning
Venmoed directly to me to combat income inequality.
contextual · beginning
Can I put protein in it? 'Cause I need more power in my dink.
contextual · beginning
No.
contextual · beginning
Whatever. I'll get that. I need more calories after my pickleball practice.
contextual · beginning
We stopped acknowledging pickleball as a sport ever since it tragically hit the mainstream.
contextual · beginning
The only sports we acknowledge: canoeing, T20 cricket, badminton.
contextual · middle
Wait, you guys are really missing out. Pickleball is my life.
contextual · middle
Concerning.
contextual · middle
I wasn't gonna mention this, but I am a member at Tickle Me Pickle.
contextual · middle
You were always gonna mention that.
contextual · middle
Is that, like, a deli founded by Dr. Seuss?
contextual · middle
No no no no no, it's a members only pickleball club with amazing amenities.
contextual · middle
There is a cryotherapy chamber with a live DJ named DJ SSRI.
contextual · middle
You guys would love it, but I don't know if you guys would get in.
contextual · middle
Membership clubs are the bubonic plague of New York City. Sorry, world.
contextual · middle
And the best part is the branding. Every member gets a pickleball tattoo on their lower back.
contextual · middle
You want to see it?
contextual · middle
Ewww.
contextual · middle
That looks like a mole. You really should get that checked out.
contextual · middle
You guys are really giving nonmember.
contextual · middle
Anyone who's anyone is a member at Tickle Me Pickle.
contextual · middle
It's 85,000 square feet in the West Village, and there's only 35 members.
contextual · middle
Like, sometimes I can't even find anyone.
contextual · middle
The West Village is a graveyard for Midwestern mediocrity.
contextual · middle
One of the most tragic stories of our time.
contextual · end
Well, I think it's really cute. The main reason I joined is because all 35 members are super hot because Raya was an early investor.
contextual · end
Are you gonna pay?
contextual · end
Oh my God, my pickleball group chat is freaking out right now.
contextual · end
We don't believe in the concept of group chats.
contextual · end
We learned how dangerous they are in our ADHD support group.
contextual · end
Oh my God, you guys, I want to fill you in on the tea so bad, but you're not TMP members.
contextual · end
That building has 85,000 square feet and still you are here with us. Why?
contextual · end
Oh, we like to leave the club every so often to remind other people that the club exists, but they can't come.
contextual · end
If you join a private members' club in Manhattan and no one knows, did you even join a private members' club in Manhattan?
contextual · end
They're gonna get a four-part Netflix cult documentary. We should option it.
contextual · end
I hope they cover it in two parts.