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ONE MONTH IN TOKYO????
Do you ever stop and think about how much of our identities are shaped by how other people perceive us??
Like … who AM I without other people?
I’ve spent my whole life creating my self image based off the inputs and reactions I get from other people and in Tokyo I’ve been more than out of my depth — you don’t’ get any of that here.
Lost in translation but like FR fr — It hit me that I’m nearly 30 and I basically have no idea who I am without that feedback.
At first I was uncomfortable, then I freaked out for a whole week, and now I think I’ve come out on the other side.
That’s one of a million paradoxes in Tokyo. I’ve never felt so invisible and I’ve never felt so seen — I wrote a lot about it on my Substack (in bio) if you’re curious to read more about what it’s been like.
Transcript
This is the only place I've ever lived that forces you to figure out exactly who you are for yourself because no one else is gonna decide for you. It's weird being one of 45,000,000 people in a city where no one stares at you, but no one smiles either. Everyone just keeps moving. See, I took a train down to Harajuku, and I walked through the rank, and I came across this group of rockabilly dancers, like straight out of the movie Grease. See, every Sunday, they show up here in full denim with these custom iron on patches, and they dance and they party like it's 1959. They clearly don't need an audience. That's not the point. They are who they are, whether anyone's watching or not. Welcome to Tokyo, where you will always be welcomed, you will never fit in, and that's okay. Here, no one is watching you, but no one's reflecting you back better. I've spent years shaping the image I have of myself, my identity, the people around me, but Tokyo gives you none of that. It's like looking through a one way mirror. It's infinitely permissive, but there's no feedback. At first, it was isolating and confusing to the point that it made me self conscious. Like, there was something I just wasn't better, but I had to live it to realize that it's only when no one's watching that I get to finally decide who I am. And that's crazy because