Skit contrasting generational party habitsfrom @bkcoffeeshop

Transcript

Rank, last night was crazy. I cannot wait to sleep. It's 04:30PM. Best. Yeah. I went to three raves, a disco, a luau, then I followed the sounds of techno to a construction site with a DJ harmonized with a jackhammers. Sick. I'm sorry. How old are you? I'm in my new thirties. That's not an age. Once you get to 40, you keep it real mysterious. Sometimes I'll use, like, Roman numerals, like, I'm in my XL era. That's what I'm saying these days. You never wanted to, like, settle down or whatever? Yeah. Shouldn't you, like, exist in Rank Slope? And humiliate myself? No. No. No. I'm gonna stay in Bushwick until I die. When was your divorce finalized? You know about my divorce. It's clear. I've been going out every night for the last six years since I quit corporate and moved here from Manhattan, and I'm never stopping. You don't feel aged at these parties? Like a sharp cheddar? No. I get along better with people that are young. People my age are so lame. They just wanna talk about cholesterol, patio furniture, plants. Are you gonna order? I was hoping to do one of those Burning Man situations where we trade. What could you have that we could possibly want? Wisdom. Secrets. Peptides for partying. How to keep your joints lubricated so you can... Important stuff. Well, we've been sober for the past three years as a statement against peer pressure. Our bad, our choice. No lame. You guys party at all? Gen Z, like, doesn't go out that much. There are articles about this. Have you ever wondered why you guys are so sad? I don't read those articles. That's how I stay happy. Don't you ever get tired of doing the same thing over and over and over again? What do you want me to be doing? Listening to podcasts about index investing, going to the farmer's market, asking about, oh, this is nice zucchini. Where'd you get... How'd you grow it? I mean, yeah. The day you stop exploring is the day you stop living. Can I get one of those, double espressos with sparkling water from the Gowanus Canal? It's like a lot of caffeine right before bed. Yeah. I I gotta keep going. What are you, my parents? No. My roommate actually hit me about an after party. I think I'm gonna go check it out. You still live with roommates? Yeah. I could live alone, but I prefer to live with young, loud freelancers. That'll be $55.50 for the espresso. Wait. Opalite just shared her location. She's at a party that seems sick. I'm a head out. Peace y'all. Thank you. I never wanna get old. We're fixing all. We won't.